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The planet Earth is now banned to an alien races until they can compare notes and find out how many, if any, real humans they have actually got. you can have it back if you promise to use it wisely.

"Now I like nothing better than a nice mug of cocoa and a good sing-song around zer harmonium, I assure you. My vord." What is the difference between a humanistic, monastic system of belief in which wisdom is sought by means of an apparently nonsensical system of questions and answers, and a lot of mystic gibberish made up on the spur of the moment? I'll turn you into a mindless ugly toad (second passes) gosh! When the player clicks on Rincewind "Hands off my pixels! (when examining the 'shape' out his window) yes, a mysterious shape, a sinister shape, a shape fraught with, with, shapeness. (when examining the floating book acting like a guard dog) ahh, let's not press this curiousity thing too far then shall we? Rincewind: I see, um, I need something in order to take out a book. you want some mouthwash, that's it, you want some mouthwash, I'm sorry, but I'm already spoken for. Apprentice: Having one before you go is the whole point of prunes! Doesn't anyone around here have a sense of purpose? Rincewind (Referring to the bag of prunes): Can I have one before I go? You give someone a tool and they spend the next 10 years of their life just playing with it. Best to let her get the beauty sleep she so obviously needs." (when examining the Imp's steel-toed boots) "Hmm.

Librarian: ook Rincewind: ape, on ya, upon my person, yes, upon my person, whew! (gets hit in the head by the Librarian) did you get the number off that donkey cart? In reality I'm a full foot taller, bronzed and rippling with muscles but it's been a hard night for the artist." "Honestly, some people. And it'll still be me the next time you look, too." When examining certain items or people (when examining Granny Weatherwax) "Granny Weatherwax: A tough lady this one. " When leaving a conversation "Sorry, but I think it's about time for me to take my medicine." (Acting in his own Moving Picture) "Now is the winter of our discontent, made all the more dreary for the lack of death. Don't put those in there, you know they breed like flies! yes, well look, unfortunately, I don't have one, ape. When the player clicks on Rincewind "Rincewind: Homo-Sapien Sorcerus Iritablus. Or something like that." (when examining a pint of beer) "A beer, with some amoeba's on a stick. " (when examining the man selling camels) "*Sigh* It's the heat you know, it really does thing to a man's uh...a man's.....*Squeak*? Whether to be extremely cool, reach the height of fashion and snuff it or to keep drawing breath and lose all fashion sense forever more." (Acting in his own Moving Picture after being hit on the head a few times) "Now is the winter of the tents, er, the discontent, made all the more dreary for the lack of, of, uh, death. I've been exposed for months and every day and in every way, I am getting better and better and better! Dibbler: Banged grains, lovingly swept off the warehouse floor. Ungalant (Who appears to be talking to an invisible person called "Angus") Angus! what happens if just barge in without giving you a Library card? " (when examining a Bunsen Burner) "What's a "Bunsen" anyway? " (when examining a mouse) "I shall love him and squeeze him and name him George! " (when examining a Pot of ancient glue) "Hey, this stuff's guaranteed to last 1000 years, so if it fails then you can take it back and complain." (when examining a pillar) "It's a pillar not a pillow! Whether to be extremely cold, reach the heights of fashion and, and sniffing or to keep drawing breath and lose all fashion sense forever more." Ponder Stibbons It's not true that thaumic radiation damages the *Bark* brain! Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead, bring out yer living dead! Discworld is a comic fantasy book series by British author Terry Pratchett set on the Discworld, a flat world balanced on the backs of four elephants which are in turn standing on the back of a giant turtle, the Great A'Tuin. Sensible people go off to a roped-off enclosure where they can watch a heavily protected man, in the middle distance, light (with the aid of a very long pole) something that goes 'fsst'. (when examining a staue) Actually, this one is not a statue, it used to be a frog outside in the pond. (when Examining the bananas) Actually, I've always pictured bananas as being a healthier kind of yellow. you don't mind if I monkey about in the Library for while? The stories are arranged in several different story arcs that are further explained in the Wikipedia article on the Discworld reading order. And then they can shout 'Hooray'.† It's a sad and terrible thing that high-born folk really have thought that the servants would be fooled if spirits were put into decanters that were cunningly labelled backwards. and I thought the apprentices were all kept tied to stakes. Oh, well, he should never have asked to be turned into a hansome plinth. (gets hit in the head by the Librarian) did you get the number off that donkey cart? This article also shows quotes of the video game adaptations of the series. It has been universally established as the amount of magic needed to create one small white pigeon or three normal-sized billiard balls. And also throughout history the more politically conscious butler has taken it on trust, and with rather more justification, that his employers will not notice if the whisky is topped up with eniru.† It's amazing how good governments are, given their track record in almost every other field, at hushing up things like alien encounters. I'm sorry, he normally never does this" "Why can't I just have an Inventory Window like everybody else? (when examining the Unseen University gate) "now where's the doorknob then? (when examining the Unseen University from outside) ah ha! I wonder if the walls are this high to keep what's outside from getting in, and what's inside from getting out? Rincewind: may I take a book from the Library please?